dinsdag 7 juni 2011
Letter to a father
Thirty years after having written a letter for his father’s birthday, Ob finds a letter Ob wrote to him at the time, congratulating him on his 59th birthday.
“It is not easy to contemplate, that is think and write about one’s father. It is obvious that one has respect and admiration in away, but not easy to put this in too words and make some critical remarks as well.
I always knew you as an enormously hard working man and as someone with a feeling for justice beyond compare…as rare as your blood group. But above …you are someone in very close connection with nature. But what do I mean with all those words pa ? Hardworking. I am grateful that I have had a happy childhood and that I have had a happy childhood. I have never regretted that I had to work very very hard when I was young, I had a lot of useful extraordinary experiences in the field of cultivating and trading fruits. I have lived to see the complete evolution from a little farm, from horse to tractor to truck and so on…first on the local markets and then abroad in the East. I grew up in an environment with a lot of space and working after school hours, I did it to get a lot of weight from your shoulders, that of your wife, your brothers and others. It’s great to have space, land with fruits, storehouse’s, a whole village… . It has helped to build my character and perseverance. I like to take initiative and make my hands dirty and don’t stop till the work has been done. When I think about all those times we loaded truck with fruit from the region, delivered at our place or on the markets and the times we drove together with all that fruit to Germany in a number of cities having to load it back of… this was quite an experience. Watching you trying to keep awake all night and in the morning sleep for a couple of hours and drive back home to give your orders at a few the workmen of the village who helped with the trade and a couple of miners who didn’t want to work under the ground any more, but spend their days between the fruit yards. I watched you when you drove. The expression you had on your face, pure enthusiasm, is unforgettable to me. It was the look of one who is a 100% pleased with what he was doing and believed entirely in it…it had a purpose as all lives have, yours had as well. Your motivation went along with an ability to hold on that I did not meet a lot so far. It’s amazing that you still look like an ugly old man yet. “
“Only two aspects of the way you are, aren’t in your and our benefit. In stress conditions, you sometimes wind yourself up to much and you want to do everything by yourself then, then blaming us or the workers when things do not go the way you think they ought to. But that doesn’t bother us anymore, because we have become used to it. Secondly, you are too good with people sometimes, you want to make a compromise most of the time, even if it isn’t in your benefit. It will get you bankrupt if you don’t watch out. Even on the non-business field, in a human way, you give in to quick sometimes…instead of letting others clean up their own mess. You do have a lot of knowledge of the human character
but often you judge sharp,, but to quick maybe ? Or am I not old enough to understand ? Let’s just say you are on the watch for others a lot of the time…maybe that’s because of the unnecessary benefits you give them…and not knowing you are sometimes fooled ? A lot of people were killed in the war you lived and had to hide from and your father as a member of the resistance saved many lives and the local resistance was not to blame for the terrible revenge the village went through for it’ s actions…do you feel as if you must make up for the whole village ? Nevertheless you are a good teacher in combining the worries of the past with the reality of today and the future’s joys of tomorrow maybe. “
“I did not continue your business. Rationally I hadn’t got the money for it an subjectively I am not a trader…and one part of you isn’t also. For too long I felt as if I did you wrong by this. One thing I know for sure…everything has a reason and the art of producing fruit will go on…if not in then outside the family. I loved the years I was a fruit worker in your and your brother’s company…I loved working on the land more than that trade and that too complicated for me accountancy around it. I have my own family to take care of.
Sometimes I wonder that a thing that you wanted to pass me in life, ‘being religious’, I haven’t got it in me because I behave more as a philosopher and an artist and political militant. You really think so ? I have taught a lot about those things and I tend to look for a neutral bridge between all kind of sciences and religion. The fact that you not often see me in church, does not mean I haven’t got ‘it’ in me. I behave more as a Christian in believing and acting in and for a more just world, then by going to church and I will try to hold my family together and raise my children…but these are quite other times then when you grew up and started a family. I try to life my life consciously and with a good conscience. From all off the children and husbands and wives and grandchildren, ‘happy birthday’.”
Once father had retired, he began to read ancient texts about religion and others…two of them I found recently back again, ‘In the light of the truth’, must be something like the gnosis texts or not, he would have a look.
‘In the Light of Truth’,
So there stood : ‘in the Light of Truth’. Looked to me like the writer was trying to say that there was indeed a more powerful consciousness than ours that did not have to go all the way our evolution had to pass by from waves to atom and cells. Under that level would be a kind of distributing in between server or ‘light’ distributer…I ‘ll give it my own metaphors to help understand. The text was not referring to any religion in particular or race.
When making an effort to do what is good one gains credits, so much was clear. The author used also the argument that we often meet again in different lives. He sees no border between the here and hereafter…this I can understand (see my text ‘there was life after dead as well’), but I have my doubts about that classical reincarnation. One would wish it was true, seeing the burdens to overcome in some families…but there have to be certain laws that guide parapsychological energy. And I think those rules function according to the energy present in ancestral telepathy (gone, but not dead) en present energy also under one of his forms : present telepathy. He goes on explaining that what you think and feel is very important, because it makes links and attracts other people’s thinking and feeling, so in order to not get involved in thinking and feelings of people who think negative of life. Again this logic starts from a presumption and that is that the same positive energy attracts the same positive energy and good intentions. But is more complex than that. There are a number of stories before us that wait for completion and the two kinds of telepathies who are one in this world, make happen that what is logically and obvious to follow out of older events. According to the principle of thesis, antithesis and synthesis often, things happen, children are born, the second never the same as the first. Our free will consist in understanding our own situation in the world around us and choose for our typical own way which corresponds with our real soul…not so much a copy of our ancestors but our surplus. Does that surplus feels well with this or that person ? Of course if I am wrong then we are all perfectly living together and at an early stage in our being young we chose the wright partner. To make this basic picture complete, I could add that at a certain time only ones condition an choice is possible. Not everybody needs the same and everybody should evolve from within if one is a bit on a negative road.
What must I remember of all this ? That I shall encounter the things I feel, speak and think one day in the rest of my lifetime(s) ? If you have a Jack Russel and you educate him to be a hunter, it can be that he starts searching immediately when you come home because of that or mainly because he is a Jack Russel…I think both arguments are true. If every taught stays in connection with you… there is an gigantic net surrounding people. The author says that time does not exist, so we have time enough, it is all about the evolution of our inner communication in response to our connections with the rest what is…and that rest is one with you. All you have to do is wanting to overcome negative things, so is written. But what if in fact the positive and the negative interact because both can get wiser ? And we all know we have are stronger and weaker parts…so in interaction it is almost impossible to not think now and again something negative about somebody dear mister Abd Bernardt, with all respect. Wanting the wrong thing represses and wanting good things, lift up, I know my friend. People worry too much and have depressions, not only because of the economic system.
And what about those gnostic scriptures ? They seem to have more of an insight, inner approach to religion…by learning from one’s own experiences, and confronting them with those of others, from a bit hesitating to in the most open way possible one gets to understand the ways of the soul, the mental world…and one becomes more open to a meditative approach of present and ancestral telepathy. Some of the old gnostic texts show prove of this as some of the current ones as well. More people than you might think are ‘agnostic’…learning by what they feel in their inner and not taking some dogma’s of churches for the one and only truth.
In 367 after JC the church of Alexandrië under the guidance of Athanasius (Athan-nasty-nes) forbid the gnostic texts and the followers of the gnostic groups hid the texts who later reappeared. Maybe some people in opposition to the gnostic were afraid of discovering the inner, which might lead to some aggressive reaction towards others. An intuitive knowledge of ‘God’, like the gnostic called the divine hierarchic energy includes wisdom about people and life and oneself, also about knowledge of all kind itself. Whether starting from life or starting from texts, one can always work with both to approach a good interpretation of the world and life. Gnostic see everything more in terms of being not aware about things, rather than only talking about sin and forgiving. Their tradition goes partly back to the ancient traditions of the east, but trying to make the bridge to the rest of the world would only take a start longtime after the documents were found in the second half of the 21th century. A number of people are not open to a gnostic way of living, others can only understand through metaphors. How does one explain that one can reach a place of peace inside oneself ? ‘The light which hasn’t got a shad’, surely they mean the waves, radiation, aura… ? ‘He knows all spaces, even before they existed’(before the big bang ?). “Earthly bodies often part for earthly purposes and live apart for earthly reasons…but the spirit lives safely in the hands of love and after dead it brings the connected souls back to God.” Esthetically written…and it makes me think that a lot of people are boycotted in their love on earth, by ancestral telepathy and presence of people who are not so close to them as one thinks…but they need them for a number of reasons in the past or present. To be honest, a lot of people would not like meeting others under the form of telepathy…but if they do not want to attract telepathy they do not like, they must let go inside and take a position of inner indifferent equilibrium, separating the positive and negative in each character. If one ask people for the definition of love, one gets several answers, according to one’s experiences.
Here are some links if the heaven they taught me exists and you are boring yourself over there : http://voortijdigtestament.skynetblogs.be
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